Lord, speak to your servant and show me what you desire is to teach me through this darkness. Tears fall, depression has set it, and my in my flesh I want to run and take the easy road. The legalist says it’s my faith that lacks. But You, Oh God, are my strength and I know You test those whom You love. Your servant Job was the greatest example of a man who did nothing wrong that You allowed the trial to come upon him for Your Glory. Lord, let my desire be that I walk after Your Footsteps to show that I love You as he did. Lord, Be Glorified through my weakness.
I never chose The Lord. He chose me. I never asked to walk with Him but He in his wonderful greatest called me out of my darkness for His purposes. Even now in my weakness I want to run from Him. He wraps me with His loving kindness and gently pulls me back to Him. He speaks sweet peace to me and tells me that I am His own.
He is the giver of blessings. He gave me two children and a husband who loves me. My oldest child was stricken with Type 1 Diabetes and then eight months later had a second diagnosis of Celiac Disease. Believe it or not, Celiac Disease has been the hardest to deal with of the two because the person must be on a Gluten or (Wheat) free diet in order to keep further damage from being done. Guess what. Wheat is found in almost everything possible to eat.
The Bible talks about how Wheat is the greatest of all. It is pure and good for us. It even refers to us being Wheat ourselves. So in my mind how could something so wonderful be so deadly to my child? This is a battlefield that I struggle on.
Is it my faith? Why has her healing not come? Or has it? Do I question God? Do I ask how to deal with this and seek his answer? Do I give Wheat to her anyway and just see what will happen to test God?
I’m depressed. I’m hurting. Going to the grocery store is painful because everywhere I look I see items that parents are buying for their children that mine can’t have. It feels like failure when I walk in the door. And when I do find a Gluten Free Section it is filled with expensive items like a small box of cookies is $6.00 or a single can of Chicken Noodle Soup is $4.95. How can anyone afford this way of living? This is hard.
Wheat though… the purest form would not do harm. Isn’t that strange? Because 200 years ago you never heard of Wheat killing anyone. So I asked The Lord to speak to my heart and show me what I need to learn. How can I apply this to my life and live.
Take Wheat and compare it to our churches today. There is a church on every corner and who so ever desires can go and feed on the words they teach. But a true believer can only be fed by the Words of the Lord. Many churches today have taken The Words of our Lord and injected it and modified it just like the scientist have done with Wheat. What do they both produce? Thousands of times more the congregations than ever before and millions more the yield hat harvest.
But… they are sick. They are sicker now than ever before. Just because of greater the crops doesn’t mean that mean that it is good for you. Am I against our churches you may wonder? No, of course not. The true believer or persons can’t digest either that has been modified or it will kill them. But when I see people eating and feasting and seeming to live just fine and being filled and happy it makes it harder for my walk.
But are they living? Are they being filled with something good for them? No. Instead they are slowly dying and don’t even realize it. There are hundreds of books on the market that are showing true evidence of how bad the “Newly Modified Wheat” has devastating effects on our bodies. Am I one of those against Wheat? No, of course not. But I am against what has been done to it and just as against what has been done to our Lords word that is hurting good meaning fine people.
So, is it my faith? No. She has her healing and God has a so generously provided way to sustain her healthy living but His way is not the easiest road to travel. Even His words say (now this is spiritually speaking but still applies) “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. Matthew 7 13-14
How can I apply it to my life both spiritually and physically? I must choose the more difficult road to travel so that I may find life and have it more abundantly. I must choose His Word in the purest form. I must choose to reject all others that have been modified to some prosperity form of living.
The truth is the Christian walk is rugged and so is doing what it right for your children no matter what others are doing I must press on to the higher calling of life.
“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
It is worthy to be repeated. As for me and my house, we will serve The Lord. Oh Lord, Be Glorified through my weakness.
May The Lord Bless you.